December 2009
64 posts
“Might. Is there any opiate more powerful than that word?”
– a great and terrible beauty
“We got a call because a guy was driving through the park because his GPS told...”
– my uncle
I am fond of these
wish images that
manifest themselves as
my dreams, even if
they turn bitter&cruel
when I wake.
“a mist of wanting gathered a black-ice loneliness between them”
– carl sandburg
this morning I woke up
buried under one blanket,
headphones tangled around my
left arm, fingers inches from
a paper cutout…
my nails are uneven,
pink, chipping, battered.
I’m sort of a mess.
It’s Christmas Eve
and I’m pretty. damn. lonely.
“If I were a chipmunk I would find all of the gloves people lost and burrow in...”
– my dad
I am writing retaliations in my head for a confrontation i know will never really happen.
eight inches of snow.
twenty six degrees outside.
hello, iowa.
Grey sky. Muted plains.
Frozen water leaks from hills.
I’m in Kansas now.
Today is the best day I have had in a very long time.
“The only thing I want to do
is to be in the arms of someone who
believes in me...”
– Michael Franti::: Hey World
These are the moments I like.
When we’re all snuggled up, mixed and matched
on that worn down couch, not really caring
who’s with who, as long as we’re together.
All of the pictures and letters and words:::
I know will get lost. Will fade away, wear down.
But this…can I keep this forever?
“Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me round.
I feel numb - born...”
– this.must.be.the.place.
last night i made a fort and slept in it.
via facebook.
malcolm: I feel the need to let everyone know that my younger brother and two of his friends are all currently in the bathroom shaving their legs...
me: go join them, malcolm. then you can be a foxy princess like stephen.
stephen: i resemble that remark!
Coolest Thing in the Entire World, brought to you... →
(via oodlesandoodles)
mom: you should start packing tonight.
me: i always overpack…
brother: i want to underpack!
me: underwear?
brother: yes. underwear. i’m just going to bring lots and lots of underwear. and a cocktail dress.
“The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when Sad...”
– John Mayer (via macaroononastick) (via girlylollipop)
hm. yeah pretty much.
(via jenngrass)
(via amykinns) (via emmaphorisms)
Woody: is there anyone who isn't in this room right now?
randolph: jesus christ.
we paid only a
dollar seventy (one) but
still got a cupcake.
——————-
lemon and frosting,
passed twice around the circle…
it was delicious.
————————
12.12.09
(told you i would.)
black silhouettes of trees
framing the edges of my
vision as I drive home.
it contrasts so little with
the rest of the nighttime world,
but so very much with
the journey here.
despite the darkness,
I am bright.
my fingers hit the right
button this time,
played me the right song.
so I sing. I sing until
my voice hurts.
I sing until I smile.
i wonder when we all got so unhappy.
orange gatorade&15 second microwaved NewYork pizza; a second dinner i told myself i would not have. today was many days. the radio made me cry. you made me smile. no, i’m not confused. it’s just that things are confusing right now, i never know if you’re serious or not::: any of you. all of you.
What We're Allowed to Keep
cardiogram:
Inevitably, you will come across the things that make you think of him. Not just the songs you listened to together, or particular intersections where you stopped to admire the view, or just stop for pause, wonderful world we’ve been given to share—these things can’t harm you. But the books he gave you, the handmade gifts, the red t-shirt with black lettering that reads “Tenderloin”...
while at church play practice... (blasphemy)
joseph: i thought mary had been with another man so i was going to…….dump her ass.
———
king 3: i’m just going to lift up my dress…
mary (me): you disturbed jesus.
king 2: look at the shocked look on his face.
king 3: it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before. he’s God. he knows everything.
———
king 2: in order for this...
“Oh, there is a lesbian on the show. Mr. Schue.”
– randolph
“When you see the stars
lying on your back at night
do you think of me?”
– Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson (via tylerknott)
sam: courtney was mad because i didn't show her the amoeba.
stephen: hahahaahhah.
sam: you don't even understand.
stephen: i know. but amoeba is a funny word.
I'm Learning that I'm Forgettable
cardiogram:
I. Walking to the subway in Midtown at 2 in the morning, I stop to sit on some unfamiliar bench on 52nd Street between 7th and 6th. Christmas lights are turned on, the Big and Tall store is quiet. I watch an old couple walk by, holding each other, and my eyes follow them until they are out of sight. Sometimes I look up, knowing full well I won’t be able to see anything beyond these...
i like it when you
call me even though i have
to always say no.
